Posted by: Stewart Stevens | February 25, 2010

Are You In Enough Pain?

Are you enough pain?

This may be a shocking question to you.  But if you haven’t made the decision to change, to do whatever is necessary to get what you want, it’s because you simply don’t have enough pain in your life.

It’s a fact that human beings will do more to get out of pain than they will to experience pleasure.  (For some people not having enough pleasure or not getting a goal is painful.  It all depends on your perspective and where you position yourself in your life.)

The question is “do you have enough pain to change?”

When I was a professional massage therapist, I used to notice that my clients would often suffer with mild levels of discomfort or even great levels of discomfort, but until they got “enough pain,” they weren’t motivated to come in and address it.

We are often taught to “tough it out” and that having a high “pain threshold” is a good thing.

So I would teach them to become more sensitive to their bodies, and to try and lower their pain threshold. In this way, they could begin to hear their bodies messages sooner and it didn’t have to get so bad before they would take action and make the change.

We often learn to live with whatever level of discomfort or pain that we have in our lives. It becomes “normal” for us.  We often don’t notice that anything’s wrong if it is “normal.”  What gets our attention is a “change” from normal.

The problem is when our normal is not serving us.  When our normal is not aligned with our true purpose, our passion, our joy.  And we become used to it.

So I would suggest to my clients that they consider raising their standards and make “feeling good” their “normal.”  Then they’ll be more likely to notice when they’re feeling “not so good,” and can make adjustments quickly, before it has to get so bad that they have to stop everything in order to address it.

“If you’ve got negative emotion and you don’t know what it means and you don’t release it, don’t worry, it will get bigger. And if you still don’t recognize it, so by Law of Attraction, you continue to hold it to you, don’t worry, it will get bigger…”  – Abraham-Hicks

So the question is, “what level is enough pain for you?

When is enough, enough?

When will you hit that point, where you say “No More!”  “Never Again!”  “No way.  I’m not standing for this!  This is not okay and I’m not going to take it any more!”?

That’s the point when you claim your power, when you’ll do whatever is necessary to get that change in your life. That’s when you’ll reach out for help.  That’s when you’ll seek out and find new guidance and new wisdom, a new perspective.  That’s when you’ll make the change.

My psychotherapist colleagues and friends in AA talk about “hitting bottom,” that point at which you say “no more, never again, I can’t live like this any more.”  It’s the point at which they decide they’ve “had enough” and they begin to make the change.

It’s a new level of consciousness.  They’ve finally let go of their position, changed their beliefs, and made the decision that they’re no longer willing to cope, to settle, or get by with the status quo.

Another friend of mine talks about being in bed at night and being really cold, but not getting out of bed to get an extra blanket because he’s cold – but not cold “enough.”  And then, at a certain point, he gets tired of suffering, and the pain of being cold outweighs the pain of getting up to fix it.

So my question for you is:  What is it going to take for you to be in “enough pain?”

When will you decide to no longer accept the status quo and to make a change?

When will you begin creating a life that is dramatically better?

The good news is that you can choose to raise your standards and create a new “normal.”  You can lower your pain threshold, the point at which you’re no longer willing to suffer with discomfort.

Because the lower your pain threshold is, the sooner you experience “enough pain,” the better your life can become.

A classic example of this is weight management.

People go on a weight loss program because they are tired of struggling and they want to fix it.  But then, they make some progress, go “below” their pain threshold, and lose their motivation.The challenge is when you reduce the pain, you may also reduce your motivation, and fall back to old patterns.

To keep going, you have to lower the point at which you will get ‘comfortable’ and let your guard down.  A coach can help you adjust your goals, keep you going, maintain your motivation, and see your goals through to completion.

Then once you achieve your ideal weight, you must set a low enough threshold (say, 5 or 6 pounds) beyond which you simply will not go.  A new point that, if you hit it, you will jump back into action.  This is the “secret key” to maintenance.

The value of having a coach on your side, no matter what goals you are working with, is to help you set the right target and manage your pain levels so that you will stay motivated.  And by install new habits that will keep you on track, and prevent you from sliding. you can create a new, self-sustaining “way of being.”

Let me help you raise your level of consciousness, to make new decisions and to raise your standards so that you no longer settle for “life as it is,” for a “normal” that isn’t really working, and reach instead for “life as it can be.”

Visit Check out one of our coaching programs, come to a workshop, and sign up for my newsletter.

Enjoy the life of your dreams.

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